[EN] 20260416~20260418
20260416
As soon as I wake up, I think : I need to turn this recent feeling into an image. A rough storyboard is below.
She is still holding the dog.
The camera gradually zooms into her heart-not simply toward her.
The camera burrows into her chest like a surgical incision.
Inside her is a frozen heart.
At the same time, the woman and the heart melt like ice cream.
The dolphing swims upward through the deep sea toward the surface.
It leaps above the water.
Suddenly, it transforms into a bird.
The bird flies high in the sky with other birds.
the roots continue spreading deeper and deeper.
Suddenly, everything becomes covered in the soft curly white fur.
Zoom out.
It definitely wasn't a true reflection of what I had written or felt, but the image quality was not bad, so I left it as it was
I think that will be a scene of my SOUNDLOG
Maybe, I will use one scene from it while editing the SOUNDLOG, maybe not
I also orginized my Google photos, desktop files, and iphone album.
It made me think that I should be more thoughtful when taking photos from now on.
Taking everything blindly isn't the answer.
And the photos I truly love should be printed and kept in physical foam.
...
I also have a book project I'm working on, and today the idea became much clearer. I realized once again tha twhen I empty my mind and allow myself to rest, things become sharper.
After finishing everything, I went out for a walk to clear my head.
When I came back, there was news of my husband's promotion.
It is hard to translate his exact position within the Korean promotion system, since he works in the U.S.
But one thing is clear : In about six months, he was already handling work at the assistant manager lever, and within a year, he had moved into responsibilies closer to a manager lever.
He is someone who always studying and always making a effort
On top of that, he has a natural talent for the field he works.
So I always knew he would do well like this.
For his age, his mental and finacial growth have been incredibly fast, and that always amazes me.
I respect you. Congratulations!
...
I went to pick him up after the company dinner.
Somehow, I spent 4 hours sitting through the second round.
Then, I became the DD and drove us home.
Before going, I wanted to look nice, so I sprayed perfume—and somehow sprayed it directly into my eye.
As a result, I spent about an hour tearing up through the dinner.
When a coworker I had just met asked what happened, I couldn’t bring myself to admit it was perfume, so I said it was toner.
My eyes weren’t in great condition, and I was already pretty tired that day.
Still, his coworkers were so funny and oddly charming that I ended up having a good time overall.
It also made me think: So this is what male office drinking culture feels like. Interesting.
My husband is usually the type to stop after one or two glasses of whisky.
But that night, maybe because he was so excited, he started mixing soju and beer and drinking freely.
The moment we got home, he completely passed out.
20260417
This year, from January 7 until today, There has been a tree in my neighborhood that I started photographing whenever it caught my eye during walks with Ddoodoo. I began this practice beceuse I wanted to learn how to let go of urgency and understand the calm heart of waiting.
About a week ago, I said to JB, my husband, "It still hasn't bloomed. I really want to witness the exact moment its green leaves appear."
Then, this morning, suddenly, it was full of leaves. I was so surprised. It had grown almost frighteningly fast. It felt like a surprise party
When I got home, I put together the video I took of the tree today with the ones I had filmed before, and uploaded it to Instagram—along with the words below...
“This year, I’ve been practicing how to create with patience — not acting or deciding the moment something comes to mind, but giving ideas room to grow until they become greener, clearer, and more vivid. Consistently, but slowly.
As part of that practice, since January I’ve been waiting for the new leaves of a neighborhood tree. Today, at last, it revealed its beautiful leaves."
Looking back at all the recordings together, I realized I had thought nothing was changing. But since around February, whether it snowed or rained, the tree had been quietly making its branches longer and fuller the whole time.
"The tree had been working hard too.”
During the day, I made vegetable soba with eggplant for my husband, who was suffering from a hangover. While taking him to get a haircut, I stopped by a bakery.
My favorite bread had always been the cream soboro bun from Paris Baguette, but after moving to the U.S., I came to love cream croissants. So whenever I go to a bakery, I always end up wondering what I should choose.
Then, at a shop I happened to walk into that day, they were selling a cream soboro croissant.
Cream, soboro, croissant????
I bought it immediately, came home, and devoured it. Then I thought, ah, now I can finally say with certainty: my favorite bread is a cream soboro croissant.
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| 하와이 신행 사진 |
Ideas for the book I’ve been preparing kept arriving, so I made a few sketches. I’m thinking of it as a small-edition handmade text + textile book. Ah, my photo printer was delivered, so the first picture I printed was of Ddoodoo. I also printed one for my husband to keep at work, so he can look at it whenever things feel difficult there.
...
During the day, my husband and I were resting together when a sunshower began. Water had gathered along the bar of the window blinds and was falling drop by drop. The sunlight was very strong, and as it reflected through the drops, beautiful patterns of light and water shadows appeared across the ceiling.
We discovered the scene together, and the sound and image were so beautiful that we lay there for a long time, simply watching it.
“Scenes like that can’t even be found in a gallery...”
“Even if you record it on video... it wouldn’t matter. This is something you can only hear, feel, and see right now, lying here in bed.”
There is an LP my husband and I decided long ago to listen to only on our wedding anniversary. We found it by chance at a record shop we suddenly came across while driving through West Berlin, New Jersey, during the time we were deeply into buying vintage records.
We had just returned from our honeymoon in Hawaii, and for a long time afterward we were still completely immersed in the feeling of Hawaii. (Even now, just talking about Hawaii can lift my mood instantly.)
We chose that LP without any expectations, but when we got home and played it, it felt as if we had been transported straight back to those honeymoon days.
So we decided it would become a family treasure in our home, something to be played only on our wedding anniversary.
“If we listen to beautiful music too often, eventually it may stop feeling special... Let’s save this one only for our anniversary.”
Because that scene of light and water was also something discovered by chance, something that could only be seen in a certain fleeting moment, I thought it was like the treasured LP of our home....
 |
| yay! |
I was lying down again, mindlessly scrolling through Reels, when I saw news of an Agnes Martin exhibition, and I became unbelievably happy. I remembered going to Museum of Modern Art in February hoping to see her work, only to be told it was in storage. I had been so disappointed then, but this time I’ll finally get to see it. I was cheering and chatting excitedly to my husband.
ChatGPT had told me that light is part of Agnes Martin’s work, and that morning is the best time to go, so I felt I had received a useful secret tip. Then I learned that the same gallery is also showing work by Louise Bourgeois, an artist I’ve been interested in lately, which made me twice as happy.
And on top of that, tickets opened for a Brooklyn performance by Ana Roxanne, so I booked one immediately. At the end of April and the beginning of May, I’ll be seeing many beautiful things again.
I picked the date to go and planned the whole route. I had been curious about New York’s textile, paper, and art book stores, and by chance many of them are near the exhibition and concert venues, so I decided to stop by them too. The route is fully mapped out now.
(a place that sells materials themselves — transparent, translucent plastics, specialty surfaces)
(good for dense construction work, thin paper for base layers)
(rag paper, drawing paper, richly textured papers)
(specializes in artist books)
(not only art books, but strong indie and art sections)
(high-sensitivity curation, photography and art books, edition works)
...
While walking before grocery shopping, I kept thinking about things so subtle there are no words for them. I wondered what names could be given to parts of the body that go unnamed simply because no one needs to speak of them.
...
We went to Costco and bought various things. Then I suddenly craved a dish my husband and I had in Chicago years ago that shocked us with how delicious it was: Shuizhu Yu. I always forget the name and have to look it up again. So I ordered it on DoorDash and enjoyed it immensely.
...
For some reason, my body felt terrible that day, and my eyes kept closing on their own. I hadn’t felt that kind of exhaustion in a long time. I assumed it was from overworking the past few days.
One might wonder what kind of overwork a thirty-year-old housewife in New Jersey with no children and no income could possibly have. But whether money is earned or not, I live believing that studying, developing ideas, and creating here is my work. My husband always reminds me of that: “Mia, you are working while taking care of the home. You work very hard at your true vocation — creating.”
Because I immerse myself in that work, I often become depleted like this.
This week alone, I spent more than nine hours a day just generating ideas and archiving. It was the natural result.
I thought to myself that next week, I should move more gently and take things slower.
20260418
Every Saturday at dawn, JB suddenly wakes up and wakes me too. Then, with an excited face, he always suggests going somewhere new. Today, that place was Princeton University.
After walking Ddoodoo, I was still extremely sleepy and hadn’t recovered from how drained I felt the day before, so I said I wanted to sleep a little more. I woke up after about an hour, and my husband had already finished preparing everything. He had cleaned the house, taken care of the dog, and gotten everything ready. Then I hurriedly got ready too, and we drove the hour and twenty minutes there.
On the way, JB and I read A Little Life, which we recently decided to start together. Lately I’ve been enjoying reading aloud, so I read it to him in the car, and he loved it. I had heard it was a dark book, but the early part had wit and humor, so we laughed a lot and had a wonderful drive.
When we arrived, we walked around Princeton University. It was beautiful, quiet, and peaceful. Right after entering the main gate, we saw children blowing bubbles, people lying on the grass reading books, families visiting together, lawns full of dogs. The scenery and sounds were so beautiful that I tried to take it in with my eyes, and sometimes with video.
Maybe because I had Ddoodoo with me, many people spoke to me. They asked if they could pet him, and many did. It felt as though the whole world was full of people smiling at me.
We heard the chapel was famous, so we went in. Since Ddoodoo couldn’t enter, one of us stayed outside with him and enjoyed the surroundings while the other went in slowly, then we switched.
Inside the chapel, I felt the grandeur of a Western church. The stained glass, the high ceilings, the cross, the statue of Mary, the angels. The visual beauty was striking, but what moved me even more was the sound. People’s breathing, tiny movements, the rustle of clothing, the resonance of the space, the reverb of footsteps, the lingering echoes... ah, it was truly beautiful. I recorded some audio, but it didn’t capture it as it really was. Next time, if I have the chance, I want to bring a better microphone. Then I sat down and prayed to God. (I am a pantheist. I sometimes pray to stones or trees, and when I visit churches, temples, shrines, or sanctuaries, I tend to pray there too.)
Afterward, we walked a little more and went into town. We browsed the shops right in front of Princeton University. I looked around a Japanese tableware and small goods shop alone, then came out and rejoined JB and Ddoodoo. While we were walking, an Indian couple asked if they could pet him. They admired him for quite a while. Suddenly Ddoodoo jumped very energetically, startling even me, but the couple just smiled warmly.
We learned that the dog they had said goodbye to last June had been the same breed as Ddoodoo — a Goldendoodle.
“Have a good day,” they said as we parted. Then my husband said quietly,
“I saw sadness gather around their eyes while they were talking.”
There was also a Lindt shop, one of my favorite chocolate stores. JB knows how obsessed I am with that brand, so he jokingly ordered me to go in immediately and buy some chocolate.
Inside, an employee smiled and said something to me, but I didn’t understand and asked “Eh?” a few times. Then he laughed and said it was nothing, and that I should take my time choosing. At the register, he asked for my “zipcode,” but I didn’t understand and just said “yes.” Then he slowly spelled it out: “Z.I.P. C.O.D.E.”
Ah... ahhh... I finally understood and answered properly.
The employee was kind, though he kept making a slightly awkward expression that made me a little nervous. Still, I smiled and said, “I’m a huge fan of Lindt! Have a good day!” and walked out.
When I came outside, I praised myself: Good job, Mia.
(In the past, I probably would have left avoiding eye contact, thinking, My English is bad... I couldn’t understand... So this was worth praising.)
After that, JB, Ddoodoo, and I were all exhausted. We came home, ate, showered, and completely passed out.
I woke up, wrote in my journal, and did a round of yoga with my husband.
+ our signature pose.
We decided to fall asleep together after finishing more of A Little Life.
Yesterday, after eating a pineapple, I placed the crown in water because I decided I wanted to grow it. It is unbelievably cute. Both my husband and I keep laughing whenever we look at it.
As for the English version of the diary... I suppose I’ll have to write that tomorrow. (I finished it all today — yay!)
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